Good morning, loves!

Here’s my view this morning as we start this day.

After an eventful week, and offering compassion to people going through various trauma, a thought occurs.

Do you know what is a surprising part of self-care?

Saying no.

Giving yourself permission to disengage and even saying no to the things, actions and words that other people say or do.

We often think of self-care as taking actions like slowing down, catching a pocket of peace, indulging in a hot shower and eating well. These are habits we can practice to care for our mental well-being, but so is saying no. It prevents rising stress.

I am usually a “yes” woman but am learning it is okay to not only say no but to push out deadlines and expectations, so people are not disappointed.

I used to wake up every day not feeling enough, not feeling particularly special.

I remember 16 years ago, driving to work and rounding out the work day glued to the TV on a squeaky cart.

The reminder of this country’s devastation and horror spurs memories of where we have come.

What were you doing on this day?

How has your life changed?

Do you like the direction your life is going now?

My life is unrecognizable. I could never have guessed I would be here. In this house, with my hubby, my children all living very different lives. That I would not be working for others, but in rampant excitement for my own dream.

Are you working for your dreams? Are you ignoring what you really want to do because of fear? Because it is so challenging to say no to other people and so there is nothing left for you?

Are you in the grip of toxic people who don’t think about you and what you need? Who don’t care about how you feel? How you are affected? Who make it their priority to hurt you?

I understand. And while I have sad days because of these necessary changes I’ve had to make, my life is so much better.

Whatever you need to do, you can.

I have spoken with many people on the impacts they allow in their lives. From CA to MN and places in between, the commonality this week is self-sacrifice to our own detriment.

It is being afraid to ask for help in case we might seem weak.

Do you know what is harder than giving?


It is okay on the anniversary of this tragedy, as a survivor of the hurricanes or fires or regular ol’ freakin’ trauma (nothing regular or simple about it), to ASK. Most people are good. Accommodating, compassionate, loving and are waiting to help.

Let’s expand our self-care to include our right to peace from toxicity and judgment. You want to be accepted and loved.

Tell yourself you are and then BAM…you will be.

But what holds us back from proclaiming we are enough?

Maybe believing we are not experts of ourselves? Then who else is? There is no one more vested as deeply as you to care for you, to run your defense. It is okay to believe you have the answers in your heart and gut.

Let’s close with a bullet list for the week:

>Keep going even when no one is clapping.

>Reject negative energy and treatment.

>Say no to owning anyone else’s drama and pain. You are responsible for you only.

>Self-love converts to dynamic confidence.

>You are your expert.

>Work on asking and receiving.

>Say no when you are at max capacity.

>Working consistently will get you to success.

>Rest, don’t stop.

>Vulnerability is the new strength.

>People are mostly good.

>Retrain your negativity by changing your thoughts.

Now, let’s get after it. I have a massive week ahead and many goals to nail.

I know you are staring down the same barrel.

So, deep breath, one task at a time. Choose your nearest deadline first, then clobber it!

Take joy in checking off those to-dos and all the creature comforts that arise from slaying.

Feel your confidence in your purpose. One foot in front of the other.

No one is more capable than you of running and elevating your life. No one else has your tools, experience or history. Do your best with the tools you have, then push yourself out of your comfort zone. Do just one intimidating thing—dominate it!

Ignore your fear and laser focus on the action. I promise you will be so proud of yourself and this is fuel for the next step!

Let’s get after it.

I believe in YOU. <3


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Photo credit: Hilary Jastram

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